Memories of Life, Love, and Laughter

When I originally attended college, I had chosen my major based vaguely on interest and more geared towards the amount of money I could earn with that degree. (For the record, it was Electrical Engineering with a Computer Focus and an Accounting minor.) Since I am bound and determined to get my behind back into school, I've thought more and more about what I want to do when I grow up.

This said, there are two areas of study which have always, always interested me in a hardcore way - so much so that I'm definitely a very well-versed lay-person in both areas. The first would be the medical field. When I was a freshman in high school, I was more than certain that I would attend college/pre-med/med school to become a doctor. Now, I'm looking more towards becoming a Licensed Nurse Practitioner (most of the fun of being a doctor, slightly less schooling, definitely lower malpractice insurance.) And a lot of this decision stems from my desire to learn more about/work more with herbs as medicinal treatment. I'm pretty good when it comes to diagnosis of conditions and recommending a treatment as it is. (Yes, I will toot my own horn when it's the honest truth.) Schooling, at this point, would give me the tools to research more effectively (perhaps, I'm pretty good at that, too...), perhaps point out some contraindications I may have missed, and get me licensed to practice medicine in the state of Tennessee, thus most of the U.S. There is a serious opportunity for me to do "good works" as well, since I know what it's like to live in this country and not only not be able to afford my own health care but when I do manage to get into the doctor, I generally couldn't afford my medications. I'm a healer by calling, and I will continue to be so even if I never get a college degree to that effect.

This being said, my other love of loves is meteorology. I love the weather. I love the weather and how it changes. I'm utterly fascinated that as we've mastered science and discovered so much regarding physics that weather still remains unpredictable. After (or rather, during) the latest set of storms, a couple of my friends and I have expressed a desire to storm chase to one another. Knowing at least one of them is serious about doing so, I'm already checking what resources I can pull onto my computer to keep up with changing weather data. I honestly follow the weather like a religious zealot. I think this past storm system is the first time I kind of flexed my nerd and found myself using my social media to keep folks connected to information that (hopefully) kept them safe and updated.

So, I now find myself in a dilemma. Do I pursue a degree in nursing or meteorology? Dual major? Major and minor? Or do I continue on my path as a healer with a few electives tossed towards climatology and meteorology? I'm both confused(ish) and excited. So, like I said... Things to think about.

The setting is different, every time I close my eyes. A festival, my imagined home, our imagined home, my astral temple, his astral temple, a clearing in the woods...

Yet, he is always there, waiting for me. There is comfort, always. We talk. We play. There is love so deep it is almost tangible. We plan the future, whether minutes, days, or years.

And there is sex. Quick and dirty. Long and slow. Passionate ravishings that leave me breathless when I wake.

I cannot escape these dreams. The catch me when I least expect them, when I close my eyes for only a brief moment. Half a lifetime flashes in that single instant.

And to know I can't have him. That is the worst of all.

And still, they continue...